Paul

Conor: I’m not a fan of [the Godfather movies].

Me: What if Swayze had played the Brando role?

Conor: They couldn't have had a death scene then.

Me: Why not?

Conor: Swayze doesn't die. The one movie where they tried to make him die, he came the fuck back and avenged himself. Other people get avenged; he fucking does it HIMSELF.

Me: What about Point Break?

Conor: People assume he died. But he didn't, clearly, or else how would they have Point Break II: Point Breaker?

Me: Actually, it's going to be called Pointer Break.

Conor: When they cast him in North and South, they actually tried to rewrite it so the South would win the war because they thought it would be too unrealistic if Swayze lost.

Me: It's insane that they even cast him as a Confederate soldier in the first place.

Conor: Well, they didn't want people to know what the resolution was in advance, like in Titanic. This way, people weren't sure who was gonna win. Because, I mean, we don't still have slaves, but maybe there was a second civil war or something that he didn't fight in.

Me: Ah, very smart. That must have been Swayze's idea.

Today at work I overheard some people talking excitedly about the imminent arrival of their tax-rebate checks, and it made me kind of sick. Lookit, I could use the money too, but I still recognize that this whole business is a bunch of short-sighted bullshit that in the long run is going to dig us in deeper than we already are. Unless you truly plan to spend every dollar of your rebate on American-made goods, that money is wasted on you. That's money that the Treasury Department doesn't have, that they rolled the dice on giving to you hoping you'll use it to help "stimulate the economy." But you're not going to stimulate the economy; you're going to make a payment on the credit debt that you spend the other 364 days of the year pretending isn't there. And by the way, don't feel guilty about that. Because fuck this administration for asking us, with the increasingly dire financial messes in which so many of us find ourselves, to go buy more shit that we don't need. In fact, even if you can afford to spend your rebate at the mall, don't. Put it in your savings account. Don't give them what they want. George Bush giving everyone in America a Sharper Image gift certificate isn't going to fix our disaster of an economy, OK? So let's call it what it is: a bribe. It's a bribe that's going to make a nation of buffoons say, "Hey, that George Bush isn't so bad. He gave me $300! What a good guy!" It's an election year, everybody. These checks might as well come in envelopes stamped "Vote For The Status Quo."

"Men, if you want to win, we can win," Cosby said. "We are not a pitiful race of people. We are a bright race, who can move with the best. But we are in a new time, where people are behaving in abnormal ways and calling it normal... When they used to come into our neighborhoods, we put the kids in the basement, grabbed a rifle, and said, 'By any means necessary.'"

I love that for the third act of his career, Bill Cosby has become an angry old man (which should not be confused with a grumpy old man) who doesn't care who he pisses off--black or white--with his furious rabble rousing. The Pound Cake Speech was four years ago and he's still swinging. I'm not saying I agree with everything he's been saying (ie. Why should a woman be automatically embarrassed to be an unwed mother in this day and age?), but it's good to see one of my favorite all-time personalties rage against the dying of the light.

"Just because he was selling pudding pops for the last 40 years, people forget he's a nigga from Philly and the projects, and he might say some real shit from time to time." -Dave Chappelle

I wonder about the number of former Obama supporters who have switched to Hillary's camp versus the number of former Hillary boosters who've done the opposite. I think it's an easy bet that the latter group far outnumbers the former. I wonder also about the extent to which former Obama supporters who now back Hillary were swayed by her argument that, basically, Obama is little more than an empty shirt that generates pretty words. I wonder how many of those voters believed in Obama and then, upon hearing Hillary's sour grapes (let's be honest and call them what they are) emerged from under the spell of his charisma as if from a dream to realize, "Oh, yes, she's right. He says bullshit and represents nothing at all." Save us, oh Hillary, from this latter-day Pied Piper.

Those of you who know me well enough know me to something of a cynic, a skeptic, a misanthrope. So you should know without much doubt that I'm approaching this election with as much reason and as little of a rose-colored-glasses view as I can. And still it is from a reasoned standpoint that I hate hearing the following arguments:

(a) Obama supporters should not be swayed by his charisma and his message of hope because there is no substance to it.
(b) Obama has no experience and Hillary has lots of experience, so clearly she is qualified for the job and he is not.

First of all I don't want to spend too much time arguing the idea that Hillary is loaded with experience compared to Obama. But. As US Senators, her experience outweighs his by one term. One. He has one term and she has two. Not exactly a long and storied senatorial career on his part, but neither on hers. However add to his resume seven years as a state senator and things start to look a bit more even. No, Illinois is not Washington, but the point is not that he's tremendously experienced; it's that she's barely more experienced than he is except for two "terms" as First Lady. While I'm not trying to diminish the importance of First Ladies--they truly do have an important position and accomplish meaningful things--First Lady is not an executive position. First Lady is not a spot on the Cabinet, no matter how much Hillary wants to spin it to make it look like one. Certainly she was a powerful First Lady and served as an adviser on some level to her husband, but in no court could you submit that as evidence of executive experience. So why does Hillary get to keep screaming all this about her overwhelming experience without people throwing things at her and crying bullshit? If you're looking for a Democratic candidate with loads of experience, you're out of luck; there ain't one left on the field.

That's (b). But I really keep thinking about (a).

While I admit that there is a danger or a risk that a gifted speaker like Obama could turn out to be a completely ineffectual president, I don't believe his oratory abilities should be ignored in service of other considerations. I don't believe his charisma should be dismissed as illusion and trickery. And, again, I say all this as an unabashed cynic. Can we not all admit that the manner in which Obama seduces almost anyone who hears him speak is valuable? That it is valuable, the way he transforms a podium, a stage, an arena into an extension of himself? That it is valuable, his ability to excite and motivate people to action the way they've never before been excited or motivated about ideas, about community, about the ability of politics to accomplish great things? Is this not the stuff of a great leader?

I don't mean to say that charisma is all we need in a president. I don't mean even to give credence to the idiotic notion that Hillary cannot be president because a lot of people don't like her, because she's polarizing. I mean only that, if Clinton and Obama are on a fairly even level from a policy standpoint or from an experiential standpoint, then isn't it OK to say that Obama's dazzle should give him the edge? Because it does help inform his ability to lead, and it does allow him to unite people.

Recently I watched the movie Primary Colors again for the first time in a long time. There is a scene at the beginning of the film in which a young, idealistic political operative has just joined the campaign to elect Governor Jack Stanton (who of course is a barely-veiled stand-in for Bill Clinton in a story based on his run for President). Mrs. Stanton asks the young man why in order to join the campaign to elect this unknown governor did he leave his former position working for a US Senator? He answers, in part:

You had Kennedy; I didn’t. I’ve never heard a president use words like “destiny” and “sacrifice” without thinking “bullshit.” And, OK, maybe it was bullshit with Kennedy too, but... but people believed it. And I guess that’s what I want. I want to believe it. I want to be a part of something that’s history.

This is what is happening now. This is what people feel about Barack Obama. And that's worth noticing. It's not OK to dismiss that about him. It's that ability of his to unite people that leads many to compare him not even to Bill Clinton but to Jack or Bobby Kennedy. When no one else in the 40-plus years since Kennedy's death has made people feel this good about government, it's worth noticing. When no one else since Kennedy has made the public believe this much, it's worth noticing. And if we let this opportunity go by--this chance to elect someone with this much promise, who gives this many people this much real hope--we won't get another chance like it in our lifetimes.

Hi, Paul.

I was thinking about what you said recently about the blood center being the first place you've worked since the library that you like as much. It made me wonder whether you'd ever considered, or would consider, pursuing an degree in library and information science (MLIS). You already know it's a milieu in which you are comfortable. That degree opens a vast array of opportunities, whether in academia, public, corporate--the last most probably not your bag, I know. Also there are many interesting specialties within the degree. Of course, you can also always still write.

Anyway, it was just something that occurred to me. Talk to you soon.

Love,
Mom

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Howdy, Mom.

I appreciate your having considered these ideas, but you missed my point completely. This is fair, because I don't suppose I explained myself. I never liked working at the library because I thought the work was stimulating; the work was boring as hell. Hours of sensitizing and desensitizing musty books; hours of creeping up and down the stacks replacing recently returned books; hours of sitting deep in the stacks on a Saturday afternoon inspecting closely the spines of each individual volume to be sure every one was in its right place: these are not the components of an exciting job. I loved going to work at the library because I loved everyone I worked with, and being with them made my job seem not like a series of hideous chores, but like a productive way to hang out with my friends. That's what this jobs feels like. Everyone there works hard, but no one is stuffy or unfriendly. They have fun with each other, they treat me like one of them, and not a single person in the department has a personality that rubs me the wrong way, or rather, any of the many, many wrong ways that I have found other people's personalities have of rubbing me. This is, as you can imagine, a very rare circumstance for me, and it's unpleasant to think of having to give it up and move on again. Doing something related to my talents would be nice, but I'm not snobby about where I find employment. I'd rather work at a place where my tasks are somewhat brainless but that somehow, magically, had the foresight to staff an entire department with people that I not only can tolerate but whose company I outrightly enjoy. I've come to understand that such a situation may be actually better than doing something I like but that I have to accomplish while drowning in a seemingly bottomless ocean of assholes. Misanthropes don't very often find themselves with opportunities like I have here, and so I am holding on for dear sanity.

But I appreciate that, having misunderstood me, you wrote me this e-mail.

Love,
Paul

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Hi, Paul.

That's what I thought.
Hope it works out to be permanent for you.
I'm not snobby, either. Dad asked what you'd be making there if it became permanent. I answered, "It doesn't matter. He's happy."

Love,
Mom

Oh, hey, Heath Ledger. How are you, my friend?

...What?

You're dead?

Oh! That sucks! But-- you were one of the best actors of our generation! Aw, maaaaaan. Do you realize how much I was looking forward to seeing you as the Joker this summer? Now when I watch that movie, not to mention Terry Gilliam's new flick, and Brokeback Mountain; I'm Not There; yes, even 10 Things I Hate About You (OK: especially 10 Things I Hate About You), I'll just get depressed thinking about the level of wasted talent you will have come to represent. Way to James Dean it on us. Shit, Heath.

R.I.P
Heath Ledger
1979-2008

I like Obama over Hillary too, but I love watching this video featuring Bill Clinton as Dr. Jack Morrison (that's right, a David Morse reference) taking him to task. Seriously, he is sick of this shit, u guyz. Remember how awesome this guy was? I wish I had cared enough to follow politics when he was running in 1992. Instead I was, y'know, nine.

99% Mike Gravel
95% Dennis Kucinich
82% John Edwards
77% Barack Obama
77% Bill Richardson
75% Chris Dodd
74% Joe Biden
73% Hillary Clinton
29% Ron Paul
26% Rudy Giuliani
20% John McCain
18% Mike Huckabee
18% Tom Tancredo
14% Mitt Romney
9% Fred Thompson

2008 Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz

No surprises. This is basically exactly how I would have placed the candidates without having taken the quiz. Except I wouldn't have known where to place Fred Thompson because I don't even pay attention to that douche.

Goodbye, 2007, you fucking asshole. You are complete dog shit. You were a total cock to me, and you were even a twat to my family and so many of my friends. I hope you're happy that you wasted your whole fucking life just being an asshole to everyone, and now you're going to die and it's too late to make up for your pig-shit existence of non-stop, volcanic assholery. Ha ha, bitch. I only wish you were a tangible being with a corpse to leave behind for me to desecrate as I ring in the new year. Instead all you'll leave behind are the memories of what a low-life, shit-sucking, miserable fuck you were every SINGLE SECOND OF EVERY GOD-DAMNED DAY, FUCK YOU.

Remember when Thanksgiving meant a 30-hour Mystery Science Theater 3000 marathon? Ah, the glory days of Comedy Central.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone except Brianne!